The past couple of weeks God has been convicting me. I have written quite a bit on the topic of healthy rest, but not on the topic of laziness. You know how an object at rest tends to stay at rest and an object in motion tends to stay in motion? (What is that, the Law of Entropy or something like that?) Well, months of focusing on resting and healing can come with the risk of introducing (or strengthening) the vice of laziness. More specifically, of not being willing to do hard things because I’m so used to “not feeling like it”.
There are things I began last summer/fall and then stalled out on because they are hard and I am still struggling with my energy levels so I often don’t feel like doing them. And somewhere between chronic mild depression, three completely hectic years of professors telling me what to do and when to do it (instead of me telling myself) I lost my old abilities to self-lead my own productivity. I suspect this entire year is going to be one of fighting to rebuild that. I’ve allowed myself to be ruled by lack of motivation for so long that I barely know how to plod through it, and the fact of the matter is, there is no way to succeed in the things I want to do unless I can first do that.
I’ve been convicted about this multiple times in the last several months, but it hit hard when I was studying through the parable in Matthew 25 of the servants who were entrusted with their master’s money and expected to invest it and make a profit while he was gone. Two servants were faithful and doubled what they were given, but the third servant had to report to the master “I buried it.” When I think about the things I strongly believe the Lord has entrusted to me for the purpose of using them to His glory, I realize how many of them are still sitting on my mental shelf where I can feel good about myself and my potential – but they are never actually being invested in the outside world. I have buried them.
The servant couldn’t use the excuse that he wasn’t able to make any income off of what the master gave them, because the master gave the amounts out each according to the servants’ abilities. He was able to invest it. He chose not to. It reminds me of James 4:17 –
So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.
It doesn’t matter what excuses I make. If I know what God has given me to do, and I refuse to do them, I am like the lazy servant whom the master severely punished for burying his talent instead of investing it. I don’t know about you, but that is not a position I want to be in before God. I heard a quote somewhere recently that said something to the effect of “your lack of effort is an insult to the person who believes in you”. God doesn’t just “believe in” me. He KNOWS what I’m able to do because He gave me the abilities in the first place and He placed the opportunities before me – how much more is a lack of willingness to put in effort an insult to Him?
It’s not exactly a happy topic to blog about – but conviction never is terribly happy. And if I’m convicted I can almost bet someone else may be needing to hear similar things too. So let’s challenge ourselves and each other to strive to do more excellently – let us work to invest the abilities and opportunities and time and material blessings that the Lord has given us to use until He returns. Even if you’re struggling to regain motivation. Even if you’re uncomfortable. Even if it terrifies you. If you need a cheerleader I’m here and I’ll cheer you on, because I’m in the exact same boat with you.