Noelle: I’m going to get married when I’m 19!
Calista: (Ever the youngest trying to one-up her big sister) I’m going to get married when I’m 18!
Noelle: (Not about to be outdone) Calista, that’s WAAAY too young. Well, maybe not way too young, but it’s too young. (Just for the record, I never believed her.)
Oh boy, what’s Calista ranting about today? No, it’s not boys, if that’s what you were guessing. I’m actually ranting about girls today. And don’t try to tell me that girls aren’t rant-worthy. 😉 Girls aren’t just sweet innocent loveable creatures. We can be quite self-centered, and discontent. Real loveable, to be sure!
In all seriousness though, what do the majority of girls do with their time? Talk about boys, dream up the perfect wedding, read romance novels, listen to love songs, think about boys, have sleepovers in which they talk about boys, go window (or internet) shopping for wedding dresses… Good hawnk to high heaven, what is with this obsession with getting married?
In my personal (and extremely correct and humble 😉 ) opinion, it is very unhealthy for girls to spend all their time thinking about getting married. Don’t throw stones! There is certainly a time and a place to plan and prepare for a wedding. However! My point is, if a girl spends all her days thinking and dreaming about her perfect wedding and the perfect guy (and let’s be honest, there are no perfect guys), what is she spending her time and energy on? (Is it just me, or was that kind of a duh question?) What is she training herself for? And what happens when perfect Mr. Darcy sweeps her off her feet, anyways? The morning after that perfect wedding that she so carefully planned for years and years, she’s going to wake up and realize – she doesn’t know how to keep ahead of the dirty laundry. Or consistently keep a clean house. Or cook a healthy meal every. stinkin. day. She’ll find out that her perfect Mr. Darcy snores. And leaves the toilet seat up. And forgets to floss. And doesn’t wake up with perfect hair. And has annoying habits. She will become disillusioned and exhausted, and will wonder why in the world she ever wanted to get married.
What went wrong? This girl spent years and years studying guys and figuring out just how to do a wedding right, and in the process neglected to prepare for the marriage that comes after the wedding. And when a girl does that, she has effectively wasted what could have been fruitful years of singleness, and destined herself for bitter disappointment, and, in many cases, heartbreak.
Girls, this is serious! God has given us these years before marriage so that we might learn to work hard, and to serve others, and to be content. This is crucial training we may not have time for later. If we neglect it, how can we expect to have a “happily ever after”? And think how much of a blessing it will be to your future husband if you already know how to tend the house and cook and take care of kids – and are happy doing it. So if we have little siblings, let’s practice taking care of them. If our moms are busy, let’s practice making supper, or maybe go clean something. These may sound like boring activities in comparison to thinking about guys, but they’re much more fruitful ones. And remember: even Cinderella knew how to run a home before she married Prince Charming.
The conversation I quoted at the beginning of this post (rant) actually happened. Granted, I was probably three or four years old at the time. But I wanted to mention it because it’s natural to think about getting married. It’s normal to want that, and it’s not a bad thing. (Hey, I want to get married as much as any girl.) It only becomes unhealthy when it dominates our thoughts and our energy and our time. And you know, I still think it would be funny if I got married at 18 (yes, just because Noelle told me I couldn’t, I’ll admit that). But I’m not going to aim for it! Because if I’m not prepared for marriage at that age, then it is “WAAAY too young.” Any daydreaming girl can get married (provided she has someone to marry) but it takes a prepared woman (and man – just because I didn’t rant about guys doesn’t mean they don’t have to prepare too) to sustain a marriage. No matter how perfect Prince Charming is.