Thoughts on Marriage

Have you ever had one of those dreams that left you wishing you either hadn’t dreamed it or else hadn’t woken up? My subconscious seems to be overactive at night, and so I’ve had plenty of them as a result. While I enjoy dreams as much as anybody else, I have to draw the line at dreaming I’m in a courtship. (Yes, I did dream that once.) Because then I have to wake up and remember that I’m still too young to get married, and little lonely too.
When Valentine’s Day comes around (and it stubbornly does every single year [Actually, I’m pretty sure it does every married year too…]), it’s easy for the unmarried people to wish they had a special someone to spend it with. Getting married sometimes seems like the cure-all. “I will be happy when I get married.” “All my emotional problems will go away if only I get married.” “I’ll never be lonely again if only I get married!” You get the picture.
A couple thoughts on that. First of all, only God will make you truly happy. I don’t care how great the guy is or how gorgeous the girl is or how perfectly romantic they are. Marriage doesn’t make people happy. (I think the divorce rate says something for that…) Only God makes people happy, because only God can make them complete. People can make us happy for a while, but the true happiness – joy – that lasts, comes from God, because He is perfect.
Basing our joy on human beings is just asking for heartbreak because – let’s face it – no human is perfect. We fail each other. We irritate each other. And when we feel like it, we purposely hurt each other. That’s why marriage can’t make us happy. Because humans can’t make us happy.
Second thought! Marriage doesn’t solve all your problems. (Actually, as near as I can gather [not having actually experienced it, you see], marriage can make your problems a lot more obvious because it takes away your ability to hide from them.) Marriage is not a magic spell – it’s a relationship. Just as messy and confusing and hard as other relationships are; in fact, it’s a lot harder than other relationships because it’s so close up – there’s no escaping this person.
Marriage doesn’t just make everybody involved perfect. See, what you are before getting married is what you will be once you are married. If you practice discontentment while you’re single, that’s what you will be once you are married. But if you first learn to be content, and find your joy in Christ while you are single, then you will when you are married too.ย Yes, there are things that only marriage can teach us. But it does just that. It teaches us. Meaning, we have to LEARN it. It doesn’t change us effortlessly, any more than singleness does. See, it’s kind of like your job. You have responsibilities, and work you have to do. If you get promoted, it doesn’t take away from your responsibilities and work – it adds to them. So marriage isn’t easier than singleness, but harder. (Now, in my opinion it’s also better, but that’s because I think the hardest things are probably hardest because they’re the best.)
So, yep! That’s my opinion (and of course very legitimate because I’ve experienced this…not) on the subject. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Oh, and happy Valentine’s Day, by the way.

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Categories: Opinionations | Tags: , , | 4 Comments

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4 thoughts on “Thoughts on Marriage

  1. Allesor Yerttep

    The best person to EVER “marry” yourself to is Christ!

  2. Tsahraf

    Actually our Pastor preached the same thing, that is you are discontented before you are married you will be discontented after you are married.

    Papa did not think it was much use to say that, since “Who would actually think that marriage would solve your problems?” People who do not think, of course.
    But we can try to encourage people to think.

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