Homesick

The past few years have been rather interesting for me. I’ve had a lot of major ups, but there have been quite a few downs that seem to cling to me like sand burrs in shoelaces. (Honestly, how much untangling do they take?) I’ve lost a lot of friends, some of which I had to choose to give up. I’ve watched people that seemed like nice decent folks turn around and bite me and my family. I’ve faced some depression and a lot of loneliness, and struggled through muscular pain, joint pain, headaches, (what seem to be) gall bladder attacks, multitudinous food allergies (I’m not sure I’m supposed to eat anything at the moment…), and it’s possible I’m also gluten intolerant. Now don’t get me wrong – I could look at all of that and decide I have a pretty rotten life, but the fact is I am incredibly blessed. I have a lot of great friends still, and I’ve made some new friends who have become such a blessing to me. I’ve never even (yet) landed in the hospital for any of my health conundrums (although I’ve aggravated my mom with all my aches and pains). Just thought I should clarify that. 😉

But the fact is that ever since I’ve gotten serious about my faith, life has not been easy. For a while I clung to the song “Blessings” by Laura Story. The bridge thingamabobber goes like this:

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home

Maybe all the hard stuff we go through is to keep us from getting comfortable in a broken world where we don’t belong. Maybe it’s meant to remind us that even if things never get better in this life, we have hope in the next. Maybe it’s meant to make us homesick for Heaven. I know it has for me. During a recent gall bladder attack (They mostly consist of excruciating pain all through the abdomen and up the back. Just so you’re not curious enough to get one yourself.) I had a wandering thought – what if I just up and died right about now? And it was weird because I instantly felt this thrill go through me at the thought of going Home. That hasn’t ever happened before (mostly because I’m usually all caught up in the things I want to do before then).

But shouldn’t it be like that? Shouldn’t we want to go Home to the Father instead of clinging to this broken planet? Shouldn’t we live this life homesick for heaven? What if we never acted like this world was our home? What if we pretended that we were wanderers in a foreign land, with nothing we could call our own, just passing through until we returned to our homeland? What if we lived like we were homesick?

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Categories: Ponderizations | 2 Comments

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2 thoughts on “Homesick

  1. Good reminder. Keep coming back to this in my own life. Thanks, Calista 🙂

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