Here it is; another birthday, another year gone by, and another one ahead. The older I grow, the more I realize how deeply in debt I am. Today has been no exception. There have been little blessings all along the way, from waking up predisposed to be sad and finding comfort in the Word, to all the beautiful friends and family who take the time to write notes or send texts or call to say happy birthday, to a gift of Sculpey clay right after I got inspiration and contracted a strong desire to buy some. The countless little blessings pile on top of each other like snowflakes into this huge drift of unfathomable love.
I’m in debt.
I’m in debt to the awesome God of the universe who sent His son to die for an ingrate like me. I’m in debt to the all-knowing Father who, despite my constant (and sometimes intentional) failures, loves me more than I can even comprehend. I’m in debt to the greatest Lover of all time, who showers reminder after reminder and gently but firmly pursues my heart and my love.
I’m in debt, and there’s no earthly way to repay it.
It seems the only natural thing is to turn every gift, every possession, every talent over to the One I’m indebted to, but even then I can’t do it perfectly. A friend told me today that it was noble to want to use money made off of art (yes, I’m scheming – and it might actually go somewhere this time) to sponsor children and missionaries through Gospel for Asia for the furtherance of the Kingdom. Oh goodness. I’m not noble. (I haven’t even started doing it yet, for Pete’s sake…) I’m just in debt. If I could give every single thing I have back to Him I would still forever be in debt.
I’ve been thinking about the great missionaries and such that we look up to; Hudson Taylor, Amy Carmichael, George Müller, and so on. We think of them as great heroes and incredible people – and so they are. But they were simply human beings so deeply in debt that it only made sense to give everything they had back to God. It’s what He deserves from every single one of us.
“So you also, when you have done all that you were commanded, say, ‘We are unworthy servants; we have only done what was our duty.'” ~ Luke 17:10
We’re all just servants in huge debt to God. It’s no more noble to give everything we can back to Him than it is to try to repay a mortgage. Isn’t it our duty?
So no, I’m not noble. For one reason, I’ve barely even started. And for another, it’s only doing what my Master asks of me. I’m in debt, remember?
Note: I will probably not post next week. I will be on vacation at my sister’s house and either won’t have internet access or won’t want it or both. 🙂