Change Challenge

When my sister challenged me to write down 50 positive things about my day because she thought that would help my overall attitude, it stung.

Of course she was right. I often tend toward a somewhat negative perspective. Yes, I do struggle with depression, but no, I don’t have an excuse for letting it affect the attitude I choose to maintain. So, after biting my tongue, I submitted to her suggestion and spent my day looking for things to write down. Fifty things sounds like quite a few until you arrive at lunch time with twenty-six or so written down already.

It’s hard to know from a one-time try how much of a difference her challenge made, given all the other variables of life, but I do know this for sure – I had fun writing things down and discovering I had found more good things than I thought. (Even though by 8:10 pm I haven’t yet made it to 50. I’m getting closer!)  It brightened my day to see the little good things around the not-so-good ones. And for the cherry on top, I didn’t hit my usual early-afternoon energy slump. Was that a direct result? Who knows? I’d have to keep this up regularly to find out. But it was an awfully nice perk to add to my list today.

The next step: to keep this up in hopes of creating a new, better habit. (After all, it would be a shame to fill the first few pages of the little notebooky-thingy and not fill the rest. 😉 ) Just one aspect of a lifestyle overhaul that has been a long time in the works. I hope in the next few months to solidify some other small, but hopefully significant in the long term, changes that will help as well.

On my own I know I can’t do it. Not because there’s nothing I can do about depression, but because I’m not strong enough to keep up the battle long-term against letting it control my choices. I’ve tried that a time or two, and I always end up crying to God in frustrated exhaustion after a while. I need persistence to keep surrendering depression and my responses to it to God day after day after day, no matter how hard that particular day is.

And then I need help. I need help from God, but I also need courage to admit my weakness to fellow humans and ask for advice and accountability and support. You’ve heard of the serenity prayer. Well, today brought about a new prayer sort of based on the idea.

Lord, grant me the humility to recognize where I need to change, the persistence to keep surrendering it to You when it recurs, and the courage to ask for help. 

Categories: Ponderizations | 3 Comments

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3 thoughts on “Change Challenge

  1. Jo Steckly

    Loved your blog. Hope you put me on your “positive” list. Because I am positively your favorite aunt! 🙂

  2. Pingback: Depressed and Alone | Blotches and Blunders Made Beautiful

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