I have a tendency to panic. You know the feeling – that constriction of the chest while the brain begins a blurry dance of fear. It feels like my soul can’t sit still, and I can’t focus either.
Thankfully, when the panic creeps in I have learned to ask several trusted friends and mentors to pray for me; but I have a nasty habit of neglecting to calm my own self in the presence of my Lord in order to lay my frustrations before Him myself. What prayers I do manage tend to be frenzied, desperate, and seemingly unheard, instead of confident and trusting. I begin to feel as though I need to beg my Father God in order for Him to listen to me.
Recently I’ve been waiting on several things to iron out. It’s hard especially when there seems to be no end to the wait and you have a deadline coming up that is highly dependent on the thing-for-which-you-are-waiting. As I was fighting the panic over this particular thing, there came up two separate incidents where someone else needed prayer, and although I barely prayed God answered instantly and tangibly, and in the wake of the second incident I came to a realization:
The God who took the trouble to stoop down to my level to save my soul does not now require me to get on a stepladder in order to be heard.
He never stopped caring – and He has proven over and over how deeply He cares about every little detail of my life. It is I who forget His character and consequently lose my ability to entrust myself to Him. And there, in that realization, I was able to again find the peace that I had let my circumstances steal from me. And He answered. Isn’t our God good? 😀
Meanwhile, speaking of STEPladders, His answer is going to result in my absence from the internet for five and a half weeks whilst I serve on staff at STEP once again. (Which you can learn more about here. I highly recommend it to every young lady!) After I get back I do hope to post on here a little more regularly for the remainder of the summer. (And who knows how that will go once school starts up again. We already saw how that worked out this past school year…) I’ll be leaving this upcoming Tuesday (yes, the 23rd – four days hence) and will be back June 28 or so. As in past summers, feel free to contact me, either by letter to
IAA attn: STEP Calista Holmes
One Academy Blvd
Big Sandy, TX 75755
or by email to firstname.lastname@example.org with ‘Calista Holmes’ in the subject box. I may or may not have time to answer, but I would love to hear from you all. Even just chatter about your daily life. I love hearing from you. 🙂
Don’t burn the house down in my absence, but I won’t feel hurt if you sell my stepladder on Ebay while I’m gone. Consider that one a lesson learned. 😉